Egg White Omelette - what NOT to do

Fail.

In the interest of amusing my readers (assuming I have at least one...I hope...maybe...), I figure that including my cooking fails will provide at least a modicum of entertainment, probably more so than my successes. The good news is that I didn't set off any fire alarms. The bad news is that not only did I break the omelette, but I also managed to drop large chunks of it out of the pan and onto the stove/burner/everywhere. Oh and I severely burned my bacon, NOT in a good, crunchy way, just totally inedible. Not my fault, I got distracted/was still half asleep while making it.

So, this started out all nice and well:

Soooo promising

Then came my attempt at flipping it. I'm sad to say I totally forgot to take a pic. I not only broke off about 1/3 of the omelette, but I managed to flip it out onto my stove, got it all stuck in the burner, etc. So I turned it into scrambled egg whites, which FYI, it turns out I don't really like them scrambled, just as an omelette.

If you look closely, you can see the ham stuck on the burner/side of the pan.

Moral of story: if you experience a cooking fail...everyone does it.

Grilled Chicken Caesar Salad

I only go for the finest of dinnerware

Who doesn't enjoy a nice chicken caesar salad at lunch? It's kind of basic, and if you don't know how to make one, then I'd say you probably shouldn't cooking/visiting a cooking website in the first place...but anyway, it can be an idea if you're looking for a not-really-that-healthy-but-it's-a-salad-so-we-can-call-it-healthy lunch. Or dinner. Or salad to go with dinner. Or salad to go with lunch.


Ingredients:

• Caesar dressing (I'm all about the creamy Shop Rite Caesar dressing, and no, this isn't a product placement type of thing)
• 1 chicken breast
• Lettuce (I prefer romaine)
• Croutons, optional
• Parmesan cheese, optional

Directions:

• Cut chicken into cutlets. 
• Spray nonstick oil on grill. 
• Put your grill (mine's a panini grill) on medium heat. Grill ~5-8 minutes, or once it's cooked through. I personally like mine excessively browned and 120% cooked through. Time depends on thickness of cutlets and how obsessive you are about avoiding salmonella.
• Cut into 1-2 inch chunks.
• Toss with salad greens, Casar, croutons, and Parmesan.

Ta da!! Easiest recipe ever! Unless I made one of eating plain lettuce greens or an apple or something.

Breaded Chicken Cutlets

So this is a recipe that I learned from one of my senior year roommates in college. Her father was a chef in NYC for many years, and she has inherited many of his cooking skills. This recipe came to me one night when we hosted a potluck dinner in our apartment, and she put me in charge of making the chicken cutlets. I'd never handled raw chicken in my life (yes I was 22 ha) and didn't even know what a meat pounder was (but I did know that the name was definitely something you could make jokes about). How far I've come in the 2 years since. The picture shown above is from chicken cutlets made from leftover chicken/egg wash from my Chicken Cordon Bleu recipe. You can cook it several ways (L taught me the frying pan method), but the one pictured was done in the oven. Here's the recipe:

Ingredients:

• 2 - 3 chicken breasts, sliced into thin cutlets 
• 2 eggs, whisked
• 1 1/2 cup flour, all-purpose or whole-wheat
• 1 1/2 cup bread crumbs, regular or Italian-style
• Cooking oil

Directions:

~FOR BOTH FRYING & OVEN~

• Cut your chicken breasts into thin cutlets. Pound cutlets to make thinner. (Not necessary if you don't have a pounder, just cut them thin enough in the first place then!!)
• Put egg wash, flour, and bread crumbs into 3 separate bowls.

• Take a cutlet, dip it thoroughly in egg wash.
• Next, dip it thoroughly in flour, coating it evenly.
• Finally, dip and evenly coat cutlet in bread crumbs.
• Repeat with remaining cutlets.

~FRYING~

• Heat up oil in bottom of frying pan over medium heat. Watch once it gets really hot, little oil specks will fly up and hit you in the face/arms/chest/wherever they can get.
• Once oil/pan are heated, place cutlets in pan. Cook on each side for 2-3 minutes. Repeat several times, flipping sides, until chicken is cooked and crumbs are brown and crunchy.
• Remove from heat and eat!

~OVEN~

• Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
• Spray cookie sheet with nonstick oil.
• Place cutlets on cookie sheet.
• Cook in oven for 11-16 minutes, or until cooked through.
• Broil for 3 minutes to brown.
• Remove from oven and eat!

Chicken Cordon Bleu

Ignore my messy kitchen table in the background. 

Usually I have a little trouble with meats (unless it's basic grilled chicken or spare ribs), mainly due to fear of giving myself food poisoning. And since I'm usually only feeding myself...oh well. Here, however, I managed to successfully cook it to its full delicious potential. Mom was surprised to hear I made this since I'm not a big ham person...but I'm ok with it cooked into things. I also managed to set off my fire alarm making this. Twice. It's really sensitive, even when NOTHING IS BURNING. Ugh. Awkward. Good thing I don't know most of my neighbors. Another note: remember to remove the toothpicks before eating. Don't ask why I know what an essential step this is.

Ingredients:

(Adapted from skinnytaste.com 's recipe)

• 4 boneless, skinless chicken breasts (really however many you want)
• 2 large eggs
• 1/2 cup of egg whites
• 1 tbsp of water
• Italian-style breadcrumbs
• 6 slices deli-sliced ham (I got the cheapest sale one, naturally)
• 6 slices/7-8 oz. Swiss cheese, sliced (You can buy them sliced, or get it cheaper in a block and slice it yourself, as I did. Definitely would have been easier if pre-sliced)
• toothpicks (don't eat them though)

Directions:

• Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
• Slice chicken breasts into VERY THIN cutlets. Pound them to make them even thinner, if you didn't cut thin enough. I CAN'T EMPHASIZE THINNESS ENOUGH. It really helps with the rolling later.

Most of these were honestly wayyy too thick

• Spray a cookie sheet with cooking oil.
• Cut each piece of cheese into squares/rectangles (so it nicely fits on chicken cutlet). Place on chicken cutlet.

• Place layer of ham, then another layer of cheese on top.

But more neatly than this, it was my first one

• Here comes the tough part: rolling the chicken. Pick an end and roll with it (as tightly as you can) (pun intended). Secure with a toothpick or 4, depending on if you made it too thick, as I did several times.
• Repeat with rest of cutlets.

Yea...some are nicer than others

One of two actually successful and pretty ones

Look at that beauty

• Whisk eggs/egg whites and water to make an egg wash. 

No worries, the funfetti in the background will be used soon

• Dip chicken cutlet rolls into egg wash, then bread crumbs.

• Bake in oven 25-30 minutes.
• Turn on the broiler for ~3 minutes to brown bread crumbs a bit. (This is how I set off the fire alarm the first time. Opened the broiler and whatever heat it emanated angered the fire alarm. Second fire alarm was set off b/c while trying to fan the alarm the first time, I left the chicken in for another minute or two, and got it a little charcoaled. Alarm #2 goes off b/c of this. This is my life)

See, they're not even that browned!!

• Remove toothpicks before eating, and serve!

Prep: 25 minutes

Yield: As many chicken cutlets as you made.

I served it with a side of my tri-color rotini pasta salad.

I also had leftover egg wash & breadcrumbs & poorly cut chicken cutlets, so I used them to make just regular breaded chicken cutlets: recipe here.

Half Walnut, Half Chocolate Chip Banana Bread

I'm hoping you can figure out which side is which :)

So, this brilliant light-bulb idea came to me all because of a swimming pool. Or lack thereof, as the case would be. See, although I pay $1000 bucks a month to live in my beautiful little studio apartment, in the city I live in (hint hint it's listed on the NYC area page on Craigslist), that doesn't get you a pool. Or anywhere to lay out and tan. There's the beach, but that's a whole 2 1/2 miles away. At least I've got a parking spot. A block and a big road crossing away, which on rainy days when you forget your umbrella and are too lazy to turn back, makes you real attractive for work.Oh the joys of being 20-something.

But I digress. So, I had 5 brown bananas. My friend who loves banana bread (the one who proposed marriage to me) has a pool at his complex. So, needless to say, I bribed him to spend the day with us at the pool in exchange for banana bread. However, he has a thing for walnuts (whereas the only nuts I'm willing to eat are pecans), so I half and halfed it. Longest explanation ever? Possibly. Anyway, it's basically the same recipe as my regular chocolate chip banana bread, but with some extra special steps thrown in. Enjoy!

Ingredients:

• 2 cups all-purpose flour (or whole wheat, which is what I used)
• 1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
• 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
• 2 eggs, beaten
• 5 mashed bananas (As brown as you can handle)
• 1 cup sugar (I used brown sugar)
• 1/2 cup cooking oil or melted butter or margarine (I used a stick of melted unsalted butter)
• 1 cup + (optional) a little more (for topping purposes) of chocolate chips (This makes it incredibly chocolatey, I wouldn't use any more)
• 1 cup of walnuts + (optional) a little more (for topping purposes) (Feel free to substitute with other nuts FYI)

Directions:

• Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
• Grease bottom and sides of bread loaf pan.
• Mash bananas in a large bowl. (Don't need to be 100% smooth).

• Combine with eggs, sugar, and butter/oil/margarine.

• Combine with flour, baking powder, and baking soda.

Stir both batters until moistened. (Should still be lumpy)

How it should look

• Grab a second bowl. Split the batter evenly between your two bowls.
• For bowl one: mix in walnuts.

See how my hand is see-through? That
was AFTER spending all of Saturday at
an outdoor bar. POOL IS NEEDED

• For bowl two: mix in chocolate chips.

Sorry it's kind of blurry

• Here's the fun part: find something to block off one side of the loaf pan. (I used a drinking glass b/c it fit perfectly)
• Pour in one of the batters, only getting it into one half of the loaf.

• Pour in the other half slowly, gradually pulling out your "blocker," making sure to keep the batters on their separate sides. 
• Sprinkle the excess walnuts and chocolate chips on top of their respective sides.

• Cook for 55 -60 minutes in the oven. (I put them in for 55 minutes then let them sit for ~5 minutes while the oven cooled)

Prep: ~15 minutes
Yield: 1 loaf, many compliments, and 1 marriage proposal

I love her. Best running partner/snuggle buddy. (I babysit for her owners)

Ham & Cheese Omelette

Served with some toast 

I think this is the ~third time I've attempted an omelette, first one that was defined as a success. I like eggs any and all times of day, though I did recently discover that egg whites are decent too. I'll try an egg white omelette some time soon. I learned how to do this purely by watching someone make it for me at a Mother's Day brunch. Yum!!

Ingredients:

• Ham, diced/chopped (diced looks fancier, but let's face it, I'm cooking for myself and this was the sale deli ham)
• 1-2 slices American cheese 
• 3 eggs, whisked
• Salt & pepper to taste

Directions:

• Dice/chop ham. Watch your fingers.

• Whisk eggs to an even consistency.
• Spray frying pan with cooking spray (8-10 inch diameter pan)
• Pour eggs in, and then distribute ham across top.

• Add salt & pepper to taste.
• Turn burner on medium heat. (technically most recipes say to turn it on before you pour the eggs in the pan, but I never remember to)
• As omelette starts to set, use spatula to lift around edges to get rest of liquid egg in direct contact with the pan. (Sorry didn't have enough to hands to photograph the lifting in action)

Sooo ready to lift

Post-lifting

Thisclose to flipping

• Now here is the fun part. Flipping that omelette. You could try to fancy chef's flip. Or, if you're me, use the spatula to flip it and hope it doesn't break too much.

Post-flipping fun (phew it's over)

• Place cheese on one side of the omelette

• Flip over non-cheese side and cook for another minute or two until cheese melts.)

That bad boy is ready to serve

Prep: 5 minutes

Yield: One serving

Om nom nom nom nom


And...surprise!!

My favorite cuddle buddy

Four-Cheese Mac and Cheese

This was a lovely mother-daughter Mother's Day mac and cheese making experiment. Also an attempt at finding the elusive 4-cheese mac and cheese recipe I am still on the hunt for (this is not it, but it's very good). This also taught me that if you want your food browned, that's what a broiler is for...and where/how to use my broiler. (Press the broil button on my stove.)


Ingredients:

• 1 box pasta (I'd go with elbows, penne, etc.)
• 3 tbsp + 1 tsp unsalted butter
• 3 tbsp all purpose flour
• 2 1/2 cups milk (I used skim.)
• 1 tsp onion powder
• 1/2 tsp salt
• 1/4 tsp black pepper
• 8 oz. Gouda cheese, grated
• 4 oz. sharp cheddar cheese, grated
• 4 oz. Swiss cheese, grated
• 1/2 cup Parmesan cheese, grated
• 2/3 cup plain panko bread crumbs (I used just plain Italian bread crumbs b/c they were on sale)

Directions:

• Coat 1 or 2 9x9 inch baking dish with nonstick cooking spray. (I used two b/c my mom and I split up the two between ourselves)
• Bring large pot of lightly salted water to a boil. Add pasta and cook according to package directions.
• Drain & transfer to bowl.
• Heat 3 tbsp of butter in a medium-size saucepan until melted.
• Add flour, whisking to blend. Gradually add milk, whisk until smooth.
• Bring to a simmer over heat, stirring.
• Add onion powder, salt, and pepper. Simmer 3 minutes then remove from heat.
• Stir in Gouda, cheddar, Swiss, and 1/4 cup Parmesan until cheeses are melted and sauce is smooth. (My grater wasn't that good so it took a WHILE to grate it all...get your mom to do it like I did, or do it before you start cooking)

• Mix into cooked pasta and pour mixture into prepared dish(es).

• Separately, melted 1 tsp of butter.
• Stir in bread crumbs and 1/4 cup Parmesan. Divide evenly over pasta.
• Broil 3 minutes or until browned. (I broiled it in the toaster oven for ~20 min til it was browned).
• EAT!!!

Prep: 20 min (basically grating the cheese)

Yield: 12 servings